You should have given up by now if you have not yet received a message. I am not talking to you whose goodnight-message has not been returned since yesterday. Your situation is still salvageable. You will get a ‘sorry honey I slept off”, later in the afternoon. Be hopeful. The jokes about the Hon. Prime Minister’s mobile money message is cliché by now. I will tell it one more time just to annoy you. Though please don’t post those memes on your timeline, please.
So, after a very long wait, 4 weeks to be specific, the long-awaited cash was dispensed to the beneficiaries in 2 days. I will not say “supposedly dispensed “. I don’t want you to accuse me of having “trust issues”. Not too soon at least. Trust issues should come at least a year later into a relationship, don’t ask me why. In turn, I will accuse you of jumping to conclusions. So let us spare the exchange and enjoy our honeymoon. You cannot be in 2 toxic relationships.
Talking about the honeymoon, let’s see who else should not lose hope; if you have been dating for a long time. Long time is quite a subjective measure but for the purpose of seeming like a “serious guy”, I will use a measure of 5 years, not ten. This should have been followed by a laughing emoji otherwise someone is still going to read it and roll her eyes. I will find a way of sharing this with you while keeping her blind. A few years ago, I learned that you can be on someone’s social media status while you are the only one that sees it. You may call it the VIP treatment. Since then, I think I know how to get away with murder. Anyway, there is this common perception, that in order to commit to someone, you must have courted them for long in order to “fully understand” them.
The cloud takes time to gather moisture. The rain day is one. And what happens after is a long period of germination, growth, harvest, and happiness ever after. Again, ‘supposedly’. This time I mean to use the word. Life doesn’t work like that though. By now you should have learned that if you are Moses Ali, you can be Deputy Prime Minister for 20 years, and that still will not guarantee you the prime minister’s post. You will still have to audition with the so called “fishermen and fishmongers” when the time for appointments comes. Maybe you have given your best as deputy and the appointing authority does not see any more value in elevating
you further. You went out of your way to give all you had and now you have nothing left to give, in their view. You may hear of a few elevations here and there out of sympathy, or one out of perceived obligation by the appointing authority if they have some form of common courtesy. Common courtesy is not common though and you don’t want to be the one who was taken in on a sympathy card. Life is too short to live held at ransom.
I, therefore, want to dispel the idea of taking forever “studying” people, whether for a job, business partner, or lifelong partner. It doesn’t matter if you applied for a job 3 years ago and the human resource manager at this workplace has had your CV all this while. When the time to make a decision comes, the HR manager will still have to compare your application with the new graduates. Yah yah I know … but he/she promised that they would ‘consider me first’ when they are ready to hire. Welcome to capitalism, the keyword was ‘consider’. Everyone is indefinitely looking for better, including HR. It doesn’t matter if you have been laying in wait for years, you will still have to audition with fishmongers and other people you may regard as unworthy when the time for the crucial decision comes. Unfortunately, the most common occurrence is that one or two who will present themselves will pose a quality or 2 that this person you have been trying to impress has expressed doubts about you before. This coupled with the aura that naturally comes with being new, usually tilts the odds squarely against you.
So if you are ever in a position of waiting, wait because you want not because you are waiting for someone to come of age. Make sure it’s something you’re enjoying too, else, move!. In the analogy of the job interview, do something else in the meantime, you will apply again with the fishmongers when the right time comes. You will have been accused of having something fishy about you for sticking around that long anyway. Next week I will tell you why potential is a hoax.
It’s such a nice piece though I didn’t know you are this sarcastic